Tuesday 26 August 2014

for another update

A few months back I posted part one of this little story..a few people wondered what happened so here is the update...if you want to catch up you'll have to go back and read it here.....

The next night she bit the bullet and text him first, trying to be the spontaneous type he said he wanted (trust me, that was pretty spontaneous for her!). He asked what was going to happen now and she let him know that she really enjoyed his company and was interested to spend some more time together. It became apparent that between her work and his it was going to be difficult to co-ordinate some time. Eventually he offered to cook her dinner, but it would have to be at her place. She was a little nervous, but knowing that she was planning on moving very soon anyway, she figured that if things went bad he wouldn't know where she lived. So she agreed and a few nights later he arrived with everything he needed to cook her chicken and salad for dinner. She text him when she was on her way home from work to confirm the time that he would come over. He told her he was going to the gym first, would duck home for a quick shower and then would be on his way. He text to ask if she wanted him to bring her a red bull....ummmm wtf? 'no thanks' she replied a little unsure of what that was about. Dinner was lovely and once again the conversation flowed, they moved to the couch and watched "What happens in Bali" and cringed at the stupidity of the people on the show. They shared their own travel tales and she wondered again where this might lead. She did cringe at a few things he said but she thought maybe they were just nerves. When it came time to say good night she wondered what might happen....he grabbed his things and bolted for the door like he couldn't get out of there fast enough. She decided not to dwell on it and off she went to bed. Over the next few days they text back and forth, checking in on how each others days were but there was no mention of another catch up until he again offered to make dinner, this time at his place. "Dinner, My Place 7:30pm" was all the text read..."Sounds lovely" she replied....He had not told her where he lived..."You're going to have to tell me where you live??" she asked before it was almost time for her to head over.... "Should I be nervous" he responded along with his address... It was these random strange comments he came out with from time to time that made her frown and wonder if what his deal was and if he really was her type. Again dinner was lovely and they sat and watched TV with ease. She was a little concerned that they had gone from one lovely date out in public to cooking dinner and watching TV at home, felt like a quick shift and she wasn't sure she liked it. When it came time for her to leave she lingered at the door wondering if he might just try and kiss her...but he didn't so she left only to be caught stuck in her tracks by a possum sitting on the fence hissing at her. "It might jump on me" she squealed like a girl...he stayed standing at the top step laughing at her, not offering to come to her aide..."you'll just have to sleep over then" he replied..(not on your life she thought in her head!), thankfully his dog came to her rescue come running and barking and scaring the possum back up the tree and she bolted for her car, yelling "See ya" over her shoulder as she went. She had no sooner arrived home when her phone buzzed on her bedside table..Give me something!!:-/ ... the text message read.. I'm not sure what you mean.. she replied..3 dates too soon to kiss? Are you scared?... (Is he freaking serious, man!!!)...Have you tried to..? was the response she decided to go with. And it went on from there. She really started thinking that this guy was not for her. It was all feeling very hard and unnatural. She didn't like his sarcasm when she had to raincheck a catchup because of prior commitments. But how to tell him, she was never the ender, always the endee... They text back and forward for a few more days but she was going away over the weekend so she thought that would give her some time and space to reflect on what had (or hadn't) happened so far. When she returned he messaged asking hoe her weekend was, she told him of her exhaustion after the 5 hours drive home and that she felt like she could sleep forever, he text back offering for her to stay at his place...the actual read "You could stay at mine tonight? And I'd behave if you said so:) If I can go three dates without touching you I'm sure I can restrain the beast one night :)"....seriously! did he seriously just say that! Gross!!! "I have no idea how to respond to that" was all she could muster as a response. She decided to give it one more shot, one more date, in person, in public and see what happened. The majority of there contact had been via text messaging so she needed to see what if was like in person again. So a few afternoons later they decided to meet at a local pub for a quiet Sunday afternoon drink. She text him to let him know that she was on her way "Don't rush, I need to prepare my defence :P". She can't explain it but almost immediately she knew whatever this was had to end...She just had to work out how to say it. She sat awkwardly while he talked and told stories and she added her bit when and where she could but it just didn't feel right. He rambled on...and on...and on...about how he had a friend who he had organised to go out with one night who pulled the pin at the last minute and it was St Pat's day and because St Pat's day was really important to him and his friend gave him no reason for not wanting to go out, he ended the friendship...."You ended a 6 year friendship because he wouldn't go out with you on St Pat's day?" she questioned, a little gobsmacked... A little while after he had to go so once again they parted ways..."text you later...maybe" she said as she walked away....She didn't text him... for a few days she didn't text and neither did he...until eventually she got one that just stated her name... nothing more... Eventually she replied explaining the reasons why she didn't think this should continue, she explained that it did not feel natural and that it should not be this hard...she had grown annoyed by how he referred to her 'home' town and how desperate he was to get out so she thought it best they part ways.....She wasn't quite prepared for the slap between the eyes response that she got...."I feel like that you are not that keen to have a man and if you are I don't see the effort? I'm not sure you can be old-fashioned-take things slow, get the guy to make all the effort and then be independent too? I'd like us to stay friends, but it's felt like unless I'm cooking or paying I'm not going to see you? That's just how it felt. You've said yes when I've suggested dinner etc but if you like/d me there's no reason why you shouldn't suggest something...?"
She didn't respond right away, it took some time to process that...hello? he eventually said... she worked on a response 
"Sorry I was not what you expected and that you felt that way... I am who I am and my life is what it is and maybe that's why I am single...I can deal with that" she eventually replied and swore never to text him again...

And she hasn't....

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT!

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