to stop the hurting..

I don't really know why, I can't really explain it, but ever since I heard the tragic news over the weekend of Charlotte Dawson's passing I felt the urge to write about it.

I, obviously, didn't know Charlotte personally, I barely even knew much about her at all. I knew she was the tall skinny ex-model with beautiful hair and a lovely smile who would pop up on Kochie's Angels and other such panels from time to time to discuss all manner of things. I knew she'd been on Australia's Next Top Model or whatever show it was but I never watched it. But, unless you have been living under a rock these past few years, I think everyone knew of her battle with Depression and the so-called Twitter Trolls who harassed her online, I watched the interview with her on 60 minutes. I am not going to dwell on what they said as I don't want to give them any 'air time' so to speak, but I cannot believe the horrible nasty things people would say about this woman that they did not even know.

I think I was sad for 2 main reasons when I heard the news. The first obviously being the tragedy that is suicide. No one will ever really know what was happening in those moments leading up to her death, if it could have been prevented, whether she was struggling or had made her peace, but the fact that it obviously got to the point where she saw no other way out brings a lump to my throat that I can't even explain. The other thing that upset and disturbed me was when I read an article about her passing and a close friend had said 'alarm bells started ringing when she had not posted anything on Twitter for 19 hours'..... Really...??? This saddens me... I'm really not sure what this says about our society in general... Are we really that disconnected from 'real life' that the only way people will worry about us is when we haven't 'tweeted' or updated our status in a while....

She has been dubbed an Ambassador for Anit-Bullying after the work she has done recently on trying to stop all this online bullying that seems to be pretty rampant at the moment and I hope that if anything good can come out of this tragedy, it's that people think twice before hitting that 'send', 'update' or 'tweet' button. I see all too much of the effects all this has on students at my school every day. Unfortunately whilst there are cowards in this world hiding behind a computer screen and a keyboard who never seem to be held accountable for their actions, we will never completely stamp it out.

I feel sad that she was brave enough to stand up and talk about Mental Illness, and in particularly depression, and try and smash the stigma, but at the same time be shot down and ridiculed for it. I can't even pretend to know what her thoughts might have been that night but I am guessing it all just got a little too much to handle. As I kept hearing people reporting on the story over the weekend say, hopefully she has found the peace she so desperately craved. RIP Charlotte..

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Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT..

to discuss blog names!

This weeks confession topic from Kirsty at My Home Truths....

If you could do it all over again, what would your blog name be and why?

To be honest... I wouldn't have a clue!

My blog title is something I have talked about from time to time over the past year.

It surprisingly didn't take me long to come up with the title for my blog and if you've been with me from the start you'll know I started my blog around the same time I started the 12wbt. I had made the decision that it was 'time' I started to focus on myself and do something for me. I guess the full title of my blog is really "It's time for me"...

I had actually thought about blogging for some time. I do like to write, some times I used to think that I may actually have some stories that might be worth sharing but never really had the courage to do it. 

Before I actually started this blog, I used to think that if I did have a blog I would blog about the ups and downs of being a single girl in this day and age, a kind of Carrie Bradshawesq type blog and the title would be something witty about being single and proud and you having to be awesome to change that, but really titles more along the lines of desperate and dateless were jumping to mind! Because lets be honest... my singe life is really not that exciting!

I am really happy with my title and I like that it allows me to continue it in the title of each post and I really wouldn't change it..

What about you? Do you like your blog title? Have you considered changing it? If so, what to? Or more importantly do you like the title of my blog?? (LOL...)

for my second book review...

I can't believe that we are only half way through February and I have finished my second book! If I keep this up I am going to SMASH my reading challenge..

I saw this book at Big W before Christmas and as Mum had asked for books I thought she would enjoy it, my sister obviously thought the same thing as she bought her the same book! 

The second book is Poppy's Dilemma by Karly Lane.

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'Poppy Abbott seems to have it all. Bright, successful and attractive, she lives in a beautiful apartment with sweeping views of Sydney. However since the recent death of her beloved Grandmother, Poppy's been struggling to come to terms with her grief.'

A major error in judgement sees Poppy leave Sydney suddenly and head for the small town of Warrial, where her Grandmother used to live, to go through her stuff and clean out her house. Poppy uncovers an old journal in amongst her Grandmother's things with the name 'Maggie Abbott' written on it. Poppy becomes consumed by the story of Maggie's life as she writes about her love for her soldier boyfriend during the First World War.

The story flips between today with Poppy and the past with Maggie and I usually don't like that but in this case it seems to work. Of course, while Poppy is on this journey she finds herself questioning everything she thought she knew about life and love and it's pretty predictable what is going to happen for her in about the tenth chapter but it is the storyline of Maggie that kept me turning the pages.

It was also interesting to read in the Author's notes at the end of the book that a lot of the events described in the book about the First World War, were in fact based on real events.

This 312 page country romance novel was certainly an easy read, albeit somewhat predictable, that I did enjoy.

You can read my first book review here..

Linking this review up with Essentially Jess for IBOT and at the Australian Women Writers Challenge Page

to confess my crafty side..

This week Kirsty has asked us to confess our secret talent or skill... So here I am confessing my crafty talents.

I have 2 main crafts that I dabble in from time to time. Scrapbooking, which I have not done in months years! Just not enough time I don't think, and the fact that I don't have a 'craft room' where I can leave things set up means a lot of effort (and mess) in dragging all my stuff out of the cupboards and plastic tubs and so it just hasn't happened.

My other craft love which is much easier to manage is cross-stitching, and in particular, Baby Samplers. I love making them for friends when their youngens are born. I think of it as a precious lifelong gift that I hope them, and their children, will cherish forever. They do take A LOT of time and patience but the joy in the faces of the parents when I give them to them is worth every needle prick and cross eyed counting of boxes! Here's some of the ones I have made over the recent years....

  

So there you have it....I must confess that sometimes on a Friday night when I'm curled up on the couch with my needle and thread and a good dose of trashy TV I feel like a bit of a Nanna, but I do love the end result!

Do you have a secret talent or skill? Head over to My Home Truths to confess!

for Friday 14th Feb

Today is Friday the 14th of February... (not that I needed to tell you that, am sure you can read a calendar..) and I guess you know what that means......yep





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Now I have been contemplating for a while what approach to take with this post... It would be easy for me to write a post wallowing in self-pity about how long it's been since I was in a relationship and how it sucks to be single and how this day is just an over-commercialised crappy day that shouldn't need to happen to tell someone you love them... but instead I have decided to focus on 5 reasons it ROCKS to be single....

1. When it's only you at home, only you to cook for and only you to clean up after I only need to wash up really every 6 days. I have enough crockery and cutlery for 6 people, so it is so easy to often use just about everything in the cupboard before I really have to wash up!! **

Yep! That's me!!

2. I get to have the WHOLE bed to myself!! No fear of waking someone else up or bumping into them in the middle of the night! Can stretch the legs, keep the blankets on or kick them off without having to think about another person! Often I have 9 hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep! ahhhh.. **

3. I have full control of the remote control... I get to watch WHATEVER I like.. No fights over the remote, no being forced to watch crazy kids cartoons or man cave type shows!

Yep! Hard to see a con there!

4. I do what I want, when I want, with who I want and don't have to worry about anyone else! **

5. The toilet seat is never up! No fear of stumbling to the toilet in the dark in the middle of the night and falling into the bowel!

My Kinda Guy!

So there you have it! My 5 top reasons it ROCKS to be single. A friend of mine posted this to me on Facebook the other day and I also thought it was pretty cool and probably sums out how I am feeling this year as I go through a process of concentrating more on me and being the best me I can be!

(** These may also be reason that I HATE being Single)

Linking up with With Some Grace for FYBF...



to review week 1 of Bootcamp!

Bit over a week down and I am loving it!!!

I knew it was going to come with challenges but so far I have beaten them. I thought training at night was going to be a struggle. We train from 6pm-7pm and that is usually when I am cooking dinner and getting ready to curl up on the couch and watch Home and Away. Once I am home after a loooong day of work it's a struggle to get me out again, but to be honest, I get home, get changed straight away and actually watch the clock waiting for it to be time to go because I am looking forward to it! Or in some cases I don't have time to even think about it, I run, quickly change and run out again!

It has only been a week but I am hopeful that I can maintain this early enthusiasm and momentum that has started! Our sessions are non-stop and always changing and always different so definitely no time to get bored. We do a fair bit of boxing which is fine, I love it, and the combinations we do make it an awesome all over body workout. Am already thinking of buying a set of gloves and pads for myself!

Friday night I set my alarm for 3:50am... We were due to meet at the base of Tabletop Mountain for a sunrise climb at 4:30am.

Me on a walk around Prince Henry Drive last year! That is Tabletop Mountain in the background

Sleeping in must have been playing on my mind because I had the worst nights sleep I've had in months, kept waking up and checking the clock...eventually gave in at 3:30am and got up, had a little bite to eat and watched a bit of the Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony before heading off to meet the rest of the girls.

So there we were in the pitch dark climbing up this bloody rocky mountain with the only bit of light coming from a couple of iphone torches and for what.....

Well this....

The view from the top...

It was a little bit disappointing that there were so many clouds and the sunrise was hampered by them a bit so had to use a bit of Instagram filtering to make it look awesome! The view was amazing and we sat for quite a while just soaking it up, proud of our achievement!

Straight after that I had my PT session! I went home feeling amazing! What a fantastic way to start my weekend!

Our trainer has told us that she is not a big fan of scales and has actually told us to get rid of them. She believes the truth is in our measurements and our clothes and I do believe her but given that I am so used to weighing in after 2 rounds of 12wbt I haven't quite done that and like what the scales have to tell me.

And this week they told me that I was 1.2kg lighter than last week!! BOOM!

Am so pumped to see what the next week brings!

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT!!!

to ponder what others think...

This week over at My Home Truths we are confessing what our friends and family think of our blog. I have kind of already touched on this in a previous confession.

But really I am not entirely sure what my family and friends think of my blog. For the most part they don't comment so it's hard to really tell if they even read it. That's the thing about blogging and putting it all out there on the internet, unless people comment, you never really know who is reading. My blog is not something I really talk about with family and friends either, so on the odd ocassion when I might remark about something I have blogged about I am sometimes surprised when they respond with 'Oh yeah I read that on your blog'...

So I must confess that even though they may never comment and we may rarely talk about it, I am always aware that they may just be reading, and that is why, at times I hold back.

I think even in my early stages of blogging I have become to aware of my audience. When I am writing I am writing generally knowing who is likely to be reading and therefore write 'to you' as opposed to 'for me'.

I came up with the 'It's time..' as my title for the blog very easily and quickly because it seemed like it was time for me to start to focus on me.

I want to write for me, I want to write from the heart, I want to write with no inhibitions, I want to write the truth, I want to write without fear of being ridiculed and judged, I want to write my story, my truth, my perspective without care for anyone else, I want to write......

but I can't.

Because in life it's not as easy as that, in life there are things we need to keep private, other people's feelings that may get hurt, whether I like it or not...it's not all about me.. and once you click that publish button, it's there....for anyone.....everyone.....to see and once the words are written they cannot be unwritten....

What do your nearest and dearest think of your blog? Are you a carefree writer or do you keep some things close to your chest?

for bootcamp!

I started this blog when I started 12wbt last year and when I had to 'say it out loud'... It's one of the pre-season tasks where you have to tell as many people as possible that you are doing the challenge as a way of being accountable and gaining support from your friends and family.

Well it's been a while since I did an update on how I've been travelling. It's been almost 6 months since I reached my goal weight.

Looking back on it now I'm thinking that that weigh in may have just been a little bit of a fluke. I don't think I weighed that much again and to be honest, the scales have gone up ever since.

Not drastically, not quickly but over time I started to lose a little focus. I have never been a really bad eater, if 12wbt taught me anything it was probably that my biggest problem is portion sizes. I would say that I follow the 'eating healthy 80% of the time', but I do probably eat a little too much. So I guess there were a number of reasons that the weight started to creep back up. Work, Time, Exhaustion all being high on the list. I guess I probably went a little silly during the silly season and holidays, indulging in a few too many 'coffee and cake' catch ups with friends.

So while I may sound, and I am, a little disappointed it's not all bad news. I haven't had a massive weight gain, and despite what I have put on, I know that I am fitter and stronger than I was 6 months ago, so am happy with that.

I have signed up for an 8 week bootcamp here in Toowoomba and we started on Saturday with our first season! IT. WAS. AWESOME! Loving it already! It is going to come with challenges of it's own as it runs 6pm-7pm and I am usually well and truly curled up on the couch refusing to move at that time of night!

I decided to do all my stats and share them with you as a way of saying it out loud! When I compared them to my last lot of stats I am quite disappointed and knew immediately where the weight had gone! (and I didn't need a tape measure to tell me that, my clothes are screaming it at me loud and clear!)

So here goes, my initial before stats for my new bootcamp:

Weight = 63.9kg (it was higher but managed to get it down 2kg prior to bootcamp starting)

Chest = 80.6cm
Waist = 84.5cm
Hips = 107.2cm  :(
R Arm = 28.8cm
L Arm= 28.5cm
R Thigh = 49.3cm
L Thigh = 49.6cm

Stay tuned for Bootcamp updates over the next 8 weeks!

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT!!

for new TV shows!

Heading in to the confessional again this Monday for My Home Truths I must confess prompt:

After a month’s worth of wall to wall cricket and tennis, have you had enough, are you keen for more or are you completely and utterly indifferent?

To be honest I am a big lover of the Summer of Sport that overtakes our television over the Christmas break. I love tennis and fulfilled one of my bucket list dreams a few years ago by attending Wimbeldon! I am ok with the overload of Sport on TV over the Summer holidays as it means that I don't have to worry about missing my favourite shows.

It's probably no real confession to those who know me that I watch a lot of TV. Asking me what my favourite TV show is a lot like asking a parent to chose their favourite child (I imagine)... Impossible!!! We confessed about our TV watching some time ago.

Now with a New Year comes new TV shows to fall in love with and enjoy so here's what I am looking forward to this year....

Yep, more sport! I LOVE the Olympics...Summer or Winter I don't mind! Can't wait to see how our Aussies do!

There is so many wonderful Australian drama series on our telly's at the moment and I think we have so much talent in our country.. here's 2 I am looking forward to watching

What's the bet these 2 are on on the same night at the same time!

..then there are some 'oldies' returning for a second season that I am pretty excited about...

With so many great Aussie shows to choose from what are you looking forward to watching this year? Are you a drama addict (like me) or a Reality TV tragic? Head over to My Home Truths to link up your confessions!