Monday, 1 July 2013

to confess some regrets

Am writing off topic this week for Kirsty's I must confess linky as there has been something playing on my mind for a while that I wanted to write about.....

So I must confess I have some blogging regrets.....

My blog is still quite young having only started at the end of January but I already wish I had done a few things differently.

Blogging was something that has interested me for a while and if you do look back to my first post you'll see that starting the Michelle Bridges 12wbt and my friend starting her own blog was the final shove I needed to get it going. So of course, like I have a tendency to do, I jumped feet first in the deep end and didn't really really think about it.

I wanted it to be a place where I could just write and write and write and write and not really have to think about it too much, I wanted it to be a place where perhaps I could share some of my innermost thoughts and just go "blergh" on the page and if someone read it so be it. I quickly got caught up in the whole blogging world and started following, or stalking as some may say ;-) others, linking up and getting a little absorbed by it all. I started sharing my blog posts on facebook and twitter and telling anyone who would listen that I have a blog now! Some of my nearest and dearest tell me often how much they love reading my blog and how they are learning more about me and how it makes them laugh and they look forward to it and so on - all of which makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside, don't get me wrong!

So what is my problem you may ask...???

My problem is that now I feel like I constantly have to think very carefully about what I write so as to not offend anyone close to me who may take what I write or what I say the wrong way. There are a few things that have happened of late that I have thought - "I'm so going to blog about that and see what other people think!!!!" but then when I sit down to do it I realise that for various reasons I can't. I wish I was one of those people who had the attitude "It's my blog I don't care what other people think!" and write whatever I want but I am not, I am constantly worried about upsetting others and I avoid conflict like the plague, so I just stew and vent on the inside instead.

Sometimes it's a little scary to think that I have put myself 'out there' for everyone and anyone and wonder if I have given too much of myself to my blog...... hmmmmm... I tell people about my blog without really thinking of the repercussions, they now have an insight in to my life forever, it's not like on facebook where you can "unfriend" or "defriend" (never quite sure which one it is) or block someone, once someone starts reading your blog they can have access to that forever, unless of course I decide to cease writing (which is not something I am going to do!)

So perhaps if I could turn back the clock I would make my blog anonymous and not share it with all those in my 'real' world', that way I could write what I like when I like and have no regrets or give it a second thought!

How do you overcome these things on your blog? Did you decide to keep your blog anonymous and why did you decide to do that?

What do you have to confess this week? Head over to My Home Truths to get it off your shoulders!


21 comments:

  1. Oh, thank you so much for this post! I'm a total noob, my blog is only a couple of weeks old, and I've been wondering whether to tell people I know in real-life about it, or mention it on my facebook page. Like you said, once people know about your blog, you can't take it back. I'm torn between wanting to share doing something I love with my family and friends, but also not wanting to cause any offence or upset with what I may or may not write about it the future. It's a dilemma, and I'd be interested to hear what other bloggers thought.

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  2. I hear you. I blog anonymously. Or at least I used to. And then after about 2 years, I happened to brag about it to a few people I know. And now I find I have to watch what I write. Especially as my mum reads my blog. Which is probably the most frustrating thing. I sometimes wish I could change my blog name and link but I've put in a lot of effort after nearly 6 years and can't see myself doing that.

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    1. Wow 6 Years! I don't want to do that after 6 months so I can understand your hesitation!

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  3. My big blog mistake was getting ahead of myself and trying to be like the big bloggers with all the adverts/sponsored posts/giveaways etc and not having the audience to carry it off. I also realised just now (almost a year later) that I actually love to write & I am not all that interested in working with brands all the time. I am happy to give stuff to my readers but would love my blog to be a platform for my writing not brand exposure. Don't worry, I have changed my blog direction many times in the hope that one day it will all come together. As for the annonymous bit-I tried to stay anon in the beginning but I find people relate to you better if they can "see" you.

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    1. Thanks for the advice! I wouldn't even know how to go about the while adverts/sponsored posts/giveaway etcs even if I wanted to!!! lol...

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  4. This is very much something that I have been thinking about. I'm not looking to change the world with my blog, and there are plenty of benefits that are happenning just through writing and organising my thoughts, BUT that feeling of being read is really enticing.
    Because some of my blog is also based in the world of my work, I am already quite conscious of what I am writing.
    At the moment I have settled for an anonymous-ish blog - I am not promoting it to anyone, but the links from "me" to my blog exist, so it is quite possible that people I know could stumble across it. In fact I know 2 people that have, but because they aren't close friends/colleagues they haven't said really anything about it.
    I am looking at a revamp of my couple-of-months-old blog, but I am trying to do a bit of thinking and planning about what I am trying to achieve first. Which is a bit hard, because I really want to jump straight in with a re-design. Patience is a virtue!

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    1. SO true! I wish I had of thought taken a bit more time and really planned it out a bit more! Oh well can't take back time I suppose and need to work with what I have created!

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  5. I do understand what you're saying ... the funny thing is I really don't think any of my family or friends actually read my blog. Occasionally somebody will mention they read a particular post, much to my shock!

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  6. I ran into trouble a few months ago when my mother came across my blog and didn't agree with something I had said. She then didn't speak to me for 2 months. So now it is always in the back of my mind to think of those I know read the blog before I post. It can make it hard..but at the same time I am so glad that my friends are so supportive of my blog.

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    1. Oh gosh that's hard! I hate having to think so much about it but it's what I've created so hopefully I'll find a balance and make it work! Thanks for sharing, hope things are back on track with your mum!

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  7. I completely understand, I have so much I want/need to get off my chest especially in law related (heaven help me if they are stalking aka casing me and find this) but sometimes you just shouldn't go there.

    If you ever want to come and do a guest blog under an alias we would love to have you. We are looking to stir things up a bit and looking for people and ways to do this starting with some different content.

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    1. OH thanks! That might be worth considering!!!!

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  8. I sometimes feel that way too but not too many of my family read the blog, although some friends do. I'm not anonymous but I do keep my kids' identities secret - I just feel better that way. I hope you can find a balance between blogging for you and not offending others. Good luck with it Zita!

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    1. Thanks Kirsty! Hopefully the novelty will wear off and they will stop reading and then I can blog whatever! lol...

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  9. I know how you feel about doing your blog a little differently. It's crazy as you just want to get going and are never sure exactly where that will take you. I say go for it. This is the perfect platform to really express yourself.

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  10. I have been blogging for quite a few years. A and K know that I blog but I don't think that either of them actually read it. My blog has changed direction a few times - most recently it was about losing weight and getting fit, then it changed to dealing with menopause (which is where it is at the moment) but I am hoping to turn it back into a getting fit blog in the near future.
    I have kept my blog from family and friends mainly because I want an avenue where I can say what I want to say without having to censor every word. One of the first blogs I had was to weight loss related and was anonymous on the Weight Watchers site. One day I posted a truthful observation about something that had happened and all of a sudden I had my brother on the phone telling me I couldn't say that. We had a huge argument about it - I wouldn't take it down because it was an observation I had made and if someone didn't want to read it they could shut out of my page. It wasn't too much later that I closed that blog down and then eventually started a new one.
    If anyone who knows me reads it, they haven't mentioned it. I have met some of the bloggers who read it but I only know them through blogging, not through any other area in my life.
    I hope you find the balance that works for you - take care !
    Have a great week !
    Me

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story with me! I hate that you and your brother had that argument over something that is your observations, thoughts and your opinion...that's what I am struggling with at the moment...am sure the time will pass and I will work it out!

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  11. Every now and then I wish I was a bit more anonymous but then I remember few people that actually know me bother to actually read me. I am still conscious of what I put out there though, for a whole range of different reasons. I hope you find your balance and remember it is never too late to change.

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  12. It is a tricky one isn't it Zita! I am conscious of what I write - even though my blog is more focused on food, it is still part of who I am & people in my life do read it.

    To be honest though I think even when I used to used a paper diary there was always a sense of holding back a little - just in case someone got hold of it! I don't know of there is really a place where I have felt perfectly at ease with going the full 'blergh', but I do feel comfortable with my little piece of the Internet & that's important!

    It's a delicate one, but am sure you will find your balance as you continue this journey! :)

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    1. Oh that is so true about the paper diary Jodie! I used to hold on to all my diaries, even from High School and I would look back over them from time to time and even I would get embarrassed about reading what I wrote! funny funny times!

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