Monday 10 March 2014

to belong..

This week at My Home Truths for I must confess, Kirsty has given us the prompt...

Which actor would you like to be ” you” in the movie of your life – 
what would you call it?

So naturally this got me thinking about my life and struggling to come up with a person to play me, let alone a title.. "Would anyone even want to watch a movie of my life!?"
Tonight (Sunday night - my usual 'blogging night') I was catching up on some blog reading and suddenly it dawned on me.....

I must confess.... I don't know where I belong...

Image Source

 (The teacher in me really really wishes those were capital I's!)

The blogger was talking about being a local in their small town and I realised, I am not a 'local' anywhere. I was born in a small town in Central QLD, leaving there when I was 9 months old and moving to a sheep farm between Inglewood and Stanthorpe on the Darling Downs. I went off to boarding school for all of my High School years.

Once I finished High School I moved straight to Toowoomba for University, 4 years later I was a teacher and took my first posting in Normanton in the Gulf of Carpentaria. From then until now, 13 years later, I have pretty much transferred with work every 3 years...

Around the time I moved to Normanton, my folks left the farm. It was a bizarre feeling. I felt like I hadn't lived on the farm for so long but it was still 'home'..

I have moved back to Toowomba twice in the last 13 years but I am not sure this is 'home' either. I certainly don't consider myself a local. It's not that it's not a nice town, but I suppose it's a safe town for me. It's like my little security blanket. I know it here, I have friends here, I have family here, but I am not sure here is where I want to be forever. I don't know why, can't put a reason on it, but just can't help but wonder if there isn't something more...

I must confess I have never really felt settled anywhere, I feel like I am always looking for the next place to move to, the next job, the next school... hoping that in the next town things will be different, work will be better, I will meet someone...

Each of the places I have lived has given me some wonderful adventures, some wonderful memories, some not so wonderful memories and everything in between. Some of my best and closest friends are from these places and for that reason they will all hold a special place in my heart, but none of them made me feel the burning desire to stay become a local. There is that old saying Home is where the heart is.. well that doesn't make things any easier as I feel like I have left a little piece of my heart in every place that I have lived.

I suppose I probably have never really given myself enough time in each of these places, but looking back the decision to leave each time seemed right at the time. So I just continue to live where I live and do what I do, for the most part life goes by as if on auto pilot, with the mind constantly wondering 'what is next?'.... When people would ask me where I wanted to live, where I saw myself living in 5 years time, I would joke and say "wherever my husband is!" but to be honest I am really not sure.

So tomorrow is another day and I'll get up and do what I do every day and wait for inspiration to hit and until it does I will  (hopefully) have some more adventures.


Image Source - edited using Pic Monkey
A map of QLD for those not sure where these places are that I speak of...
The stars obviously indicating some of the places I have lived..


How about you? Do you feel like you are where you belong? Are you a 'local'?



14 comments:

  1. Definitely a local. Inner city wanker, and totally ok with that. We booked out a sport and rec camp, and I had to call to make sure I could use the stove to make coffee...say no more! ;)

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    1. Hahaha.. Too funny! Am thinking perhaps I should give city living a go, have always been so anti-city, nice places to visit, but as I've gotten older perhaps it's worth a shot!

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  2. I've lived in the same area where I was born for my whole life. I kind of fear change so at least you can say that you don't avoid change. Your life story would definitely be much more interesting than mine because of all the places you've lived in. Hope the next 'bend in the road' turns out to be great for you. :)

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  3. I shifted to the opposite side of Brisbane when I married the hubster, and it took me YEARS to really feel like this is home. It's coming up 24 years now and with 2 adult children who don't know any other home, yes, this is now my home town! You will find your place ... it took me a long time to find mine too xxx

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  4. You sure have lived in lots of different part of QLD, bet not many people have done that!! We call the GC home because that is where we built our house, we are both born and bred in NZ but haven't called it home for years. Not sure if I really feel at home, but not sure I would anywhere - I suppose as long as my family is with me I'll be at home xx

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    1. So true Em... Have been thinking lately that perhaps it's worth giving the city or even the coast a go! I LOVE visiting the beach, not sure how I'd go living there... I worry I'm a little too country bumpkin though! Lol...

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  5. I've only lived where we are now for 9 months so I don't feel like I'm a local just yet. Where we did live, my husband and I pretty much grew up in the area so we did there but we both got sick of the same old thing and so we moved. Not too far away, but far enough. Before meeting my husband, I lived in a number of suburbs around Brisbane. I think life would be a bit boring staying in the same place, I really enjoy discovering new places and meeting new people.

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    1. So do I Eva! I think moving has also forced me to break out of comfort zones as well... Am ready to settle somewhere now though...

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  6. I'm not sure if where I live now is home. I was born in Mt Isa but didn't live there as my parents moved when I was 2 weeks old. When I was 8 we moved to the town they live now but I don't consider that place my home either.

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  7. I've never been a local anywhere, I don't think I've managed to grow roots anywhere yet... Thanks for the ideas of a great blog post

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  8. I would call myself a local where I live now, it's been my home for 30 years. While driving through the area where I grew up, I felt at home, I felt part of the country and it was where I belonged. Red gum country. Wow you have lived all over QLD. I haven't lived anywhere else than a 50km radius of where I am now.

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  9. I have always lived in the Hunter Valley - born and raised in Maitland then moved to Newcastle (30 mins away) for work. I have no desire to live anywhere else and I can proudly call myself a local. Sometimes I do long to travel and experience life elsewhere but deep down I know I will never leave here, not for long, anyway!

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  10. Wow - you have been well traveled . I feel a bit more local but not so much as when I lived in Sydney - Hawkesbury Valley.

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