to confess, I'm a hypocrite

It's Monday which means the start of another work week 😟 but it also means starting the week off with a clean slate as I head into the My Home Truths Confessional...

Kirsty has given the prompt 'Hypocrisy - What do you tell others to do that you don't do yourself?'

I feel like I do this every day of the week at work. 

I have lots of students who are in their final weeks at school coming to see me at the moment and they are not coping... The anxiety and stress levels are growing each day and I think they come to me for some comfort and words of wisdom, which I try my best to give them. I spruke on about everything being ok, and it'll all work out in the end, blah blah blah.... In reality, I have no freaking idea!

I feel like a hypocrite and that I am lying to them because there will be times when it's not ok, it may not work out the way they planned, that they have no freaking idea how hard their life is about to get and that some of them will fail. 

I find it difficult to be realistic with them when so many of them are so close to the edge. I tell them to talk to their parents and friends about how they are really feeling and what they are really thinking and that these people won't be able to help them if they are not honest. This is also hypocritical of me because I don't do this!! 

I even bought this top on the weekend as I absolutely LOVED the saying on it...

but even this is hypocritical... I'm not brave!!  {I'm trying to be but I'm nowhere near as brave as I'd like to be}

So why do we do this?

Are we afraid of hurting other peoples feelings? Are we scared that if we tell the truth something terrible will happen? Is it easier to tell other people what they should do than do it ourselves? 

What do you think? Are you a hypocrite? What advice do you give that you don't follow yourself?

Linking up with My Home Truths and One Mother Hen!

to discuss fear

This week I must confess is being hosted by Ms Mystery Case and she has asked us to confess our fears.

I am taking a slightly different take on this and not just confessing my fears....

I am working my way through Kelly Exeter's book...Your Best Year Yet.. I am taking my time and really trying to absorb and fully take in Kelly's advice.

So Chapter 5 is called A different way of facing your fears. Kelly starts the chapter by asking What would you do if you weren't scared? which got me thinking about this week's confession prompt.

Sure I have my fears (snakes, spiders, mice, living the rest of my life alone being some of them) but what would I do if I had no fear!?

(It has literally taken me about 15 minutes to write this after typing that question...I fear of putting it out there, putting it in writing, seeing it on the screen, saying it out loud)....

If I had no fear, I would leave my job......

This is something I have been thinking about for a while, something that I know I have to do and something that I am working towards doing but if I really had no fear I would have done it a while ago, I would do it now. I have been working in this profession for about 14 years, it's all I've known...it's all I've ever really done, it's safe, it's secure, it's permanent..the holidays are great and the pay is pretty good as well. It's all of these reasons that have kept me doing it all this time. Another reason I have not been able to walk away is because I have no idea what else I would do.

But all these reasons are not reasons to stay.

In the chapter Kelly says...

A lot of the time, our fears can be boiled down to

what other people might think about us.

 I think this is so true...I fear that walking away somehow makes me a failure, that I will let people who rely on me down, that people will be disappointed in me/with me, that people will try (and possibly succeed) and talk me out of it, that people will think that I am crazy/stupid/irresponsible/reckless/and other things that really shouldn't matter to me!

So, step by step, bit by bit, one day at a time I am going to activate my wobbly courage and work towards leaving my job and having My Best Year Yet!

Image Source

Linking up with Ms Mystery Case for I Must Confess..

Your turn...What would you do if you weren't scared??

(PS...I will be working on a full review of Kelly's book shortly! Standby for that one!!)

to go back to work..

I must confess.... I am not looking forward to going back to work...

Probably not a big confession in the grand scheme of things but it has to be said.

Technically I have already been back at work for 3 days but tomorrow is the first day back with students and I am not excited at all. I think I am suffering from a severe case of workitis. The holidays seem to have flown by and to be honest I have done very little. I bought home work to do over the holiday, just some reading (nothing major) but it still sits in my bag. I spent a fair amount of my holidays on the couch, often flicking between the tennis and the cricket.

It's not that I hate my job, I don't.... I don't wake up dreading going to work and thinking of a reason to not go, but I don't love my job either...perhaps that's my problem.. It's just my job, I get up and I go and more often than not I feel nothing, it's like I am running on autopilot most of the time.


Perhaps it's just that there is so much to love about holidays. Sleeping til whenever o'clock, strolling to the gym and taking my time with my workout, lunching with friends, going to the movies, staying up late, cruising off to the coast mid-week because we can, my time is mine and I am not constantly rushing and trying to stick to a tight schedule!

Despite everything I just said though, I am looking forward to getting back in to a routine, when I am on holidays it seems to be so much harder to stick to my healthy eating routine. I find myself constantly going to the fridge/pantry hoping that somehow things have changed in the half hour 10 minutes since I was there last. I find I pick all day and with all these friend catch ups over coffee and cake and eating out my weight does go up.


When I was still a classroom teacher, I must confess the night before school started was always a nerve-wracking one. Believe it or not I would lie awake thinking of what I was going to wear, what I would say, what we would do those first couple of hours, nervous about meeting the parents and hoping they would like me and be glad that their child was in my class. This year it's a little different. Being in a High School now and not working in the classroom I imagine my day will be a little less nerve-wracking. To be honest, I have no idea what I will be doing. I have a few kids to check in on but given that it's only our year 8 and 11 students in tomorrow am hoping it will be pretty low key. Despite that I still went and got my nails done today and have a new outfit all ready to go! (and am hoping for a full nights sleep tonight given that 'nanna naps' are no longer an option!)

I have enjoyed the slight career change I have taken over the last 12 months but I still feel like there is something more out there I could be doing. I am not sure what that is just yet, but am hoping to work it out...soon!

So I must confess...this year I hope to work out what it is I want to be when I grow up!

How do you get back into the swing of things after a holiday?

Linking up with Kirsty, off topic this Monday for I Must Confess..

for a bit of a whinge...

I believe we are all entitled to it now and then so right now I am taking this opportunity to have my whinge! I know that all the events that I am about to whinge about are the results of decisions I have made so there is no need to point that out to me, just accept this whinge for what it is and move on!

I need more time!!!!!!!!! 

It's been 5 weeks and 1 day since I started my new job and I am loving it. Learning so much and each day something new pops up that makes me learn even more but I am not going to lie.....the commute is killing me! (well that's a slight exaggeration but it's now 8:20pm and I feel like I have only just sat down!). My place of work is approximately 90km from my place of residency and yes this is something that I chose....but for real reasons. One being that I had not long moved and didn't fancy moving again, and because I was only about 3 months into a 6 month lease that I didn't want to break and because there is no guarantee the job will continue past mid December and then I'd be on the move again.... But with the road that I am travelling on each and every day undergoing a major restoration due to flood damage and a heavy traffic load the commute is taking me anywhere between an hour and ten minutes to an hour and forty minutes one way, on average probably about an hour 20, so that's 2 hours 40 a day which is then anywhere between 10 and 15 hours per week that I am losing by sitting in a car! When I start to think about it and put it in those terms it is crazy! I do have a wonderful friend out there that has offered me a bed anytime and I have taken her up on it a few times, guess I should probably do it more often and hope I don't out stay my welcome!

This is putting some real issues around everything else that I am trying to achieve in my life right now and I am struggling to find a balance. I decided to sign up for another round of the 12wbt as I wanted to focus more on my exercise and fitness but a week into it I feel like that is not happening. I am getting up before the sun already and don't think I could function if I got up any earlier. Now that winter is fast approaching I am starting to get home in the dark, especially if, like this afternoon there is a meeting after school. This means that there is no time to do any of those downtown jobs like get to the bank or the post office, and those things are pushed to the side!

This afternoon I was determined to do some exercise so when I finally did arrive home after 6pm I didn't let me bottom hit a seat, got changed straight away and got on my treadmill! It wasn't following my exercise plan from 12wbt but I figured something was better than the alternative... Luckily I had gotten a little organised over the weekend and pre-prepared some meals for the week so I didn't have that to use as an excuse.

I noticed on Monday when I posted my I Must Confess post that it had been 10 days since I had blogged anything...... I hate that when we are so busy it is the things that we enjoy that take the back seat. I started this blog for me and to share my journey but when things get a little cray cray (as the kids are saying these days...apparently) it's one of the first things to go. I constantly feel guilty that I haven't replied to comments and that I haven't shared enough comment love!... My other great hobby love is Scrapbooking and I haven't even done any this year, to be honest I can't even remember the last page I did.....

My weeks get so consumed with work and travel and when I can fit it in, exercise and cooking that come the weekend I am busted! I don't feel like doing anything but again end up running around like a mad chook getting all the things done that I didn't get done during the week and make time to catch up with family and friends as well as fit in exercise, cleaning, washing, grocery shopping (did that at 6pm Friday night! who does that....very few people is the answer as I was one of only a handful of people at my local Coles at that time)

Mish talks about how being organised is the key to success and I totally totally whole-heartedly agree with her but sometimes even the most organised of plans go astray and have their challenges..

So I guess I ask you, how do you make things work? How do you get all the things done in your day and still find times for the things you love? I know some of you have crazier busier lives than me so how do you do it??

Am hoping some of you IBOTter's have some advice! (or at least some sympathy!)

for a final outfit update

Well I did it......a whole term of not wearing the same outfit twice....

A little hard to see I know but you get the picture!

I am secretly not surprised that I achieved this challenge, I know I have a lot of clothes. Another friend of mine told me this was a challenge I should not be proud of succeeding in..


Linking up with My Little Drummer Boys and Twinkle in the Eye for Wordless Wednesday

    

for yet another outfit update

Still winning! Only 2 and a half weeks to go! I must say though that the massive change in weather from Summer to constant rain and cold have helped this cause as it opened up so many more possibilities wardrobe wise!

Linking up with My Little Drummer Boys and Twinkle in the Eye for Wordless Wednesday
 
                              

for Wordless Wednesday

I moved towns a few months back and a ruthless friend of mine helped me sort through the endless suitcases and bags of clothes I have....far far more than one person needs she tells me.
So she has set me 2 challenges.

1. I am not allowed to buy any new clothes during term 1 (2 weeks down 7 to go!)
2. I have to wear a different outfit to work every day (and as she lives a long way away I have to send her a pic every day!)

So far so good....

Today I am linking up for the first time with My Little Drummer Boys and Twinkle in the Eye for Wordless Wednesday!