Monday 2 March 2015

for a secret confession

Another confession topic this week to touch a raw nerve.... Kirsty has challenged us to share something that we have never revealed to anyone.

So here goes.... I am not a big fan of what I see in the mirror. I know that we are all our own worst critics and that I am exceptionally bad at this but struggling with my appearance has been something that has been with me from a young age. 

Having friends, family and bullies comment on my appearance has not helped this. Being so disproportionate has been something I was teased about on a regular basis with people commenting on either the size of my arse or my lack of boobs. My forehead, extended jaw and constant acne (which still rears it's ugly head) were also cause for teases and taunts from stupid teenage boys during my high school years that still haunt me. And even though I am now a well-educated woman it is a daily struggle when I see what I see in the mirror (especially if that mirror happens to be in a change room under horrendous lighting and on all 4 walls that show you from every single angle! For a woman who loves clothes sometimes clothes shopping is enough to bring me to tears!!).  

Having photos taken is not really something I enjoy as I rarely have one taken that I like. Having photos taken that I don't know about is even worse. During my cooking class in Chiang Mai the other day they were taking action shots of us while we worked, later sending us the link with all the photos. Scrolling through there is not one that I like as they all seem to be taken from weird angles and side on which seems to emphasis my jaw and forehead even more. 

I am shocking at taking selfies and have no idea what my 'best angle' is. Like many many other people I have on occasion completed the Fat Mum Slim photo-a-day challenge. In January I had remarked to my sister how much I hated pictures of myself and was useless at selfies, so I decided to set myself a little challenge in the January edition of FMS Photo-a-day. I would put myself in each of the photos somehow and try and learn to love what I look like and embrace the selfie.

Here are some from the month:

yep...not really a fan

I know that age old saying, 'you must love yourself before anyone else can love you', and while I know that I am a kind, loving and caring person on the inside, it is the outside that is seen and judged, more often than not incorrectly, first.

I have worked hard over the years to improve my appearance and grow more comfortable in my skin and try and accept what I have been dealt, some days are great and some are not so great. It's a work in progress....

After a month of selfies I really wasn't feeling the love for the FAD thing and with everything else going on in February I decided to take a break. But this month I am back with a vengeance (hopefully!) as I am in Cambodia for pretty much the whole month and hope to give you a glimpse of my life here during that day whilst following the prompts of the challenge. Be sure and follow me on Instagram to check out all my pics!

What about you? Love or loathe pictures of yourself?
How do you cope when the voice in your head takes over?

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I must confess and Alicia from One Mother Hen for Open Slather

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