Monday 14 December 2015

Christmas Confessions

I must confess as always I am met with mixed emotions when it comes to Christmas but this year it's extra difficult.

I was not raised in a religious environment at all. I am not sure I truly believe in the 'true' meaning of Christmas and I guess if I HAD to state my believes or align myself with one group over another then I would say I am agnostic. The only times I am at a church is for a wedding or a funeral, so at this time of year I must confess I often feel like somewhat of a hypocrite and that I am totally buying into social pressures and only buying presents and doing the whole 'Christmas thing' because the calendar and society dictates that I should.

But then I also think that Christmas is also a time to gather with family and friends and those we hold near and dear and I love the joy of giving and receiving special gifts that have been especially chosen for the recipient. I love watching people, especially my niece and nephews, open the presents I have picked for them. My twin nephews are now 2 so are getting into the Christmas spirit a little more this year, pointing and smiling and saying Santa every time the guy in the big red suit comes on the telly, even though their Christmas photo doesn't display this same excitment. My family usually decides last minute what we are doing and where we are going and some years it can be a little like groundhog day but I guess the important thing is that we are all together.

This year there is an added touch of sadness for me as Christmas also signals that the end of another year is just around the corner and while there are many of you that are happy to see the end of 2015, I am not quite there yet.

If you are new around here then you may not know that this year was to be a big year of transition for me, I took leave from my job, sold many of my belongings and took off on two amazing holidays overseas ticking off some big time bucket list items along the way. All of this was done with the intention of using this time to work out exactly what it was that I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But as it's turned out it is one that is still very much in progress and no where near complete. I'm not ready to move on from this year as it's been one of such great adventures and I am still so unsure of what 2016 has in stall for me. I'm ending this year with no job, no set address and no set plans for the year ahead. Some people see that as brave and exciting and others I know are possibly even more concerned than I am.  I will admit that I am trying to go with the 'whatever will be will be' and 'whatever happens happens' attitude but I will confess to losing a little sleep every now and then.

I started 2015 confessing that my word for the year was enough and looking back at that post now I am not certain I have adhered to my mantra throughout the year. Every now and then it has popped up but it's an ongoing process. I think it is one that I need to refocus on as I still try and find my place in this crazy world. 

So I must confess I am a little excited about Christmas and the spirit of giving and recieving but there is a little anxiety about what is to come.... 

Are you excited about Christmas?
What are your plans?
Would love to hear all about it in the comments below!

**Linking up with my Monday favourites.. My Home Truths and One Mother Hen**


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