Monday 8 December 2014

to share my secret..

A few weeks ago I confessed I had a secret...or rather information that I was with-holding. Well I am now ready to share that information.

But first, this week Kirsty is asking us to be a bit reflective on 2014 which has kind of worked out well for me as it links in with everything else I wanted to share today.

I looked back at my goals for 2014 and I am a little disappointed to say I don't think that I really achieved any of them.

Twenty-fourteen has been somewhat of a stepping stone year to what I have planned for 2015 so whilst it's disappointing to see so most of those goals unmet, a lot of what has happened this year has paved the way for what is to come.

One thing that happened this year was that I attended my first ever ProBlogger Event.

I walked down to the beach early the morning after the ProBlogger Event finished and while I sat watching the amazing sun rise I drafted the following on my phone....

'To have a blog I love I need to have a life I love... To have a life I love I need to change it... Who am I to write a blog about life when I hate my life**... I know there is good in my life, I know there is so much to be thankful for, but for the most part... I hate it**

This morning waking up at 5:50am like I do most mornings so many thoughts and reflections are starting to happen. The last 3 days have passed in an amazing blur of information and I have reached a point where I really think things could go either one of two ways...I could throw my hands in the air and walk away... Who am I to think I can make it in this world, and do I even want to, why am I even here? Or I could shout "Bring it on!" from the rooftops and really try and make something of this...

And like so much of my life, if you were waiting for an answer it would have to be "I don't know"... Is it the fear of failure that's holding me back or is it that it's not what I really want... I don't know...

Over the last 2 days when people have asked me what I blog about I had no real answer for them. I mumbled something about it being about whatever I wanted, whatever I felt like...I told people it started off the back of doing Michelle Bridges 12wbt, but if the truth be known I look back and I know that I even failed at that. Sure I reached my goal weight but I didn't stay there for long, my body didn't transform and it didn't 'change my life'... I do so many things in my personal life half hearted. Mostly I think because of fear... Fear I'll get it wrong, fear I'll offend or hurt someone, fear of failure... fear that it's just all too hard so I should just stick with what I know...'

**Hate is a very strong word and I considered changing it but obviously that's how I felt at the time...looking back it was a bit harsh!


I had already started making plans to make some changes in my life but it was like ProBlogger just confirmed it for me. So here goes...

*I've sold my house.

*I've sold a fair chunk of my belongings.

*I've quit my job (well not really but I've taken leave for 2015 but "quit my job" sounds so much more brave and dramatic)

*I've joined a travel blogging course.

*I've upgraded my blog a little bit (did you notice?)

*I've booked my flights.

*I'm heading overseas.

Each time I've travelled overseas I've come home with a burning desire to go again, I've come back with a strong desire to change my life and I've started researching other jobs because I've known for a long time how unhappy I've been. I've often said to friends and family that I wish I could be one of those people who sell everything a just go...but I've never actually done it...that is, until now...so that's (kind of) what I'm doing.
Image Source

And so while I will confess to being a little bit anxious and scared about what next year (and beyond) will bring I have decided to just let what will be...be, and see where it takes me.

Stand by for future posts about what I have planned for the year ahead and why.


Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths and Alicia from One Mother Hen!

34 comments:

  1. Okay, I have a number of things to say to you on this:
    1. you use the word 'fail' too much. Not doing something doesn't necessarily mean you failed.
    2. FREAKIN AWESOME! Good for you. I honestly don't believe anyone ever regrets travel, so pack away that fear.
    3. There are plenty of nomadic family bloggers - Kings Life, World Travel Family (she I think helps other travel bloggers with their blogs), Travel With Bender, Also Crazy Sexy Fun Traveller (she seems to get a lot of resorts funding her), Fluent in Frolicking, The Travel Mom (who does tv spots on CNN!) and many more, who do it full time. So why not you?
    4. I, for one, can't wait to see it unfold.

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    1. Thanks so much for your lovely message Lydia!
      And thanks heaps for all the travel blog suggestions! Have been looking for some good ones so can't wait to check them out! In 4 days when I don't have to work again!!!!!!!

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  2. I am so excited for you!!
    I can't wait to see where your adventure takes you.
    I am selling my house in 2015 and can't wait to free myself of the burden of it! I will enjoy following you on your journey! Good luck. X

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    1. It will be such a huge relief once the house sells I'm sure!!
      Can't wait to share my adventures with everyone!

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  3. Good on you! How exciting! I can't wait to follow this space. 2015 is going to be a year of change for me, too. x

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    1. Thanks Aroha! Can't wait to hear about your year as well!

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  4. What an exciting adventure! I often dream of selling my house and starting over again and it seems like a great idea until I wake up and remember I have a mortgage to pay off and no job and a whole heap of shit to pack up lol, oh yea and the baby to consider. Good on you for taking the leap. Can't wait to be envious of all you travel adventures.

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    1. P.S. - Love the updates to your blog :)

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    2. Thanks heaps on all accounts Toni! Can't wait to share the adventure with you all! :)

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  5. I can relate to what you write here on so many levels but I do get the sense that you're being far too hard on yourself - just like I do. We both need to stop it!! I think it is fabulous that you are making some changes if you weren't feeling happy. It can be so hard sometimes to know if what we're doing is really our dream or we just think its our dream. So as Taylor Swift says - "shake it up"! 2015 is going to be such an exciting year for you. Don't force it to be any particular way - just go with it, live in each moment and see where it takes you. I have to admit I feel a little envious. I would love to travel :-) xo

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    1. haha...I think we do Min, Perhaps next time we are being hard on ourselves we need to reach out and give each other a virtual wrist slap!
      I am going to try and not force it and see where the wind blows! haha

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  6. Good on you for following your heart xx
    Stopping by from #OpenSlather

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  7. I'm impressed and I can't wait to see what unfolds for you next year.

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    1. Thanks Raych! I am just a little excited (once I work through the nerves and the next 4 days!!! haha)

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  8. Yes, I had noticed! And well done. The first step is always hard and you've kept moving forward.

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  9. Oh wow that is the best news I've heard in ages - I'm so very happy and excited for you Zita. I have a feeling if I weren't bogged down and married etc I would be travelling lots also. Can't wait to hear more goss!!

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    1. Thanks heaps Emily! I love how supportive my little blogging family is!

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  10. Wow! That is super exciting news. I can't wait to see how it all unfolds for you.

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    1. Thanks Tegan! looking forward to sharing the adventure!

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  11. Zita this is wonderful! I love your new changes and I'm really excited to see what 2015 has in store for you!

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    1. Thanks Bec, The changes are a little unlike my life...subtle! haha...
      Looking forward to sharing the journey ahead!

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  12. Awesome, awesome news! I am so jealous and envious - it's something that Nathan and I fantasise about but can't bring ourselves to do. We are applying for a teaching exchange in 2016 so that might get us on our way. I've loved reading your travel posts so I know you'll excel at this new direction in your life. Good luck and go you!!!!

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  13. Oh wow! Zita...that's amazing plans for 2015 and even taking time off work is brave! I love your new look blog and your goals for travel blogging. I think that's an amazing thing! Looking forward to following your journey. Good luck with it all! :)

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  14. Good on you for taking the risk. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. I did something similar today, lil bit nervous, but am excited about it. Best of luck with your future plans x

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  15. Yes! Major fist pumping here! Go you good thing! So thrilled you are taking so many steps to creating a life you love. It might be scary but I'm sure you will NEVER regret it, and you just never know where it all could lead. Wishing you every happiness and success in 2015!

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  16. How exciting. Here's to new adventures!

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  17. I think I need to take a few more risks and follow more dreams. Well done and all the best with your travels. I can't wait to hear more.

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  18. Congratulations! I promise you this will be an adventure that you never regret or forget. It takes a special person to leap like this. I look forward to living precariously through you for the next year (and I'll be as jealous as hell of course )!

    So proud of you. This is an amazing moment. x

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  19. Comments looking good this end.

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  20. Wow! How brave and amazing!! Congrats, well done with following your dream. x

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  21. My word for 2015 is adventure and I hope that you have lots of adventures as well!!!!

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  22. So awesome Zita!!! I can't wait to read all about your travels and I admit to being a little jealous, what an adventure!

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